USA!

hey there. I'm back. should have mentioned this on saturday night, but with all the jetlag and grilled cheese sandwiches I stuffed down my throat, I forgot to blog it out. sorry if anyone was wondering if I died again. once again, I didn't.

so, all in all, it was an amazing trip. I'll send an email to everyone with a link to my photos as this blog program doesn't allow for it. plus, I have to do a little editing so as not to bore you with the 8000 angkor wat shots and the naked monk pics.

what I love about america and being home:
1. grilled cheese sandwiches
2. my pillow
3. hot showers on demand
4. dvr and big tvs (sorry, buddha)

thanks for reading my blog, friends. it's all over now, though, so don't come back here. be a good american and call me, or email me, or text me, or IM me, or, if you're in the LA area, stop by and see me. and bring grilled cheese.

I Left My Heart In Luang Prabang

so, I'm in love. it happens rarely, but when it does, I get pretty overwhelmed. and while, this time, my infatuation is with a place and not a boy, I find there's only one thing I can do with this overflow of emotion. I have written a poem about my true love:

hello town I love
your name is luang prabang
I will miss you tomorrow
when I fly to bangkok
that shithole

I think it's pretty good. anyway, yeah, this is my fourth and final day in l.p. I could stay here a year, it's that great. everyone's so amazingly friendly, the main street is lined with these cute shops and good restaurants (many of which have pizza!), and I've met a bunch of other travellers who are a blast to hang out with. plus, they have monks here. and they're everywhere. you'll see them in the temples (obviously), on tuk tuks and motorbikes, and walking down the street in their vibrant saphron robes. most of them are in their early twenties, and I don't know if it's the shaved head or the well-toned arms (how does that happen? do they lift? where? no bally's in town)or their warm, inviting smiles, but...uh...they're kinda hot. I know it's probably bad form to be attracted to a monk, but I can't help it. what's under that robe, you know?

the last couple nights I've been burning the midnight oil, or actually, I should say burning the 11 o'clock oil as luang prabang has a curphew. no bars or restaurants are allowed to be open past 11:30pm (it's a way to keep the town from becoming another bangkok or vang vieng, where much of the charm is trampled on by tourists looking to party.)luckily, me and my fellow travellers are very charming, so we've found ways to have the bar owners bend the rules and let us stay until 12:30am. the problem with that, though, is that my guesthouse locks their gate at midnight. and it's a pretty big gate. so the last two nights I've had to, in my slightly drunken state, pull some diehard shit and climb up and over the gate. it's not a pretty sight. I'm not a good climber and the gate has spikes on the top. and once I clear that obstacle, I have to knock on the door and wake up the kid who sleeps in the lobby, and bashfully ask for my room key. last night he didn't even look at me, he just opened the door rubbed his eyes, handed me my key, and said (in a very judgmental tone) "room 202, right?" yikes. perhaps it's for the best that I'm leaving tomorrow. I wouldn't want my true love to think poorly of me.

Dog Gone!

for anyone who's still keeping track, I am not dead. I just got back from a three day trek in northern laos. it was, in a word, spectacular. started out with a little mountain biking into the jungle (though the word "little" probably isn't accurate...4 freaking hours, all uphill...mother of mary), then some elephant riding, a little trekking to a khmu village, some more trekking to a rice plantation, then kayaking down the river I still don't know the name of (not the mekong, that I do know.) in between my eco-adventures, I stayed at this amazing resort in the middle of nowhere. teak bungalows overlooking that river that's not the mekong and enormous mountains, open air showers, no electricity, and the sounds of strange insects the size of rhode island eating through my mosquito net.

so now I'm back in luang prabang, which, if I didn't explain in my last post, is this quaint riverside town; they call it the jewel of laos. brick sidewalks, french colonial architecture with a scattering of wats, these incredible night markets selling handicrafts under the glow of thousands of lightbulbs. the colors are amazing. it's my favorite city so far. everyone is so friendly and relaxed. I was planning on leaving for hanoi tomorrow, but the plane ticket was really expensive and I'd only have two days to explore, so I've decided to stay in laos until friday, before flying back to bangkok and then home on saturday. god, the time has flown by. why it feels like only yesterday that I was being robbed in phnom phen. ah, memories.

oh, yeah, I unwittingly ate a piece of dog. they eat spot for dinner here in laos. I was offered a taste from some locals and I did not know what I was eating until my guide informed me. I thought that only happened in sitcoms or something.

well, I'm exhausted after all the kayaking, trekking, dog-eating, etc.
tomorrow I'm going to do a walking tour of the city. and get a massage or two.

Hepatitis!

just kidding. that's a bad title. sorry.

well, the antibiotics kicked the hell out of my strep throat. I feel perfectly fine now. hooray.

yesterday I hopped a flight to vientiane, laos' capital city. (fyi, laos is pronounced "lao", like "cow", but with an "l". please stop saying the "s". you're making us all look bad. americans.) the flight was seemingly uneventful. I was sitting next to this japanese guy, and we got to chatting. when he told me he was from sapporo and asked did I know of it, I said I know the beer very, very well. well, one lame joke made a big impression on this guy, and he was smitten with me the rest of the trip. I was not aware of this until I shared a taxi with him to the center of town. let's just say that the cab ride got incredibly awkward, so much so that I had to make an early exit. and that is why I blame this guy for what happened next. I call it "the worst hotel experience ever." because of the pressure to get away from sapporo, I threw down my $20 to the first hotel I saw on the way from the airport. the phoxay hotel. the armpit of vientiane. having already paid for the room, I had no choice but to accept what was shown to me...a, no lie, 6 x 7 foot cell. no windows. a buzzing flourescent light. oh, and a bathroom sporting mildew, rot, a toilet that would make strange noises then spurt water out from the bowl, and a friendly ant farm near the shower head. needless to say, I didn't shower. or pee. the guy who showed me the room said, "here...30 seconds of hot water," then left. do you know what scabies are? well, I'm not sure I do either, but I had a feeling I would see them, or catch them, or have them crawl into my mouth from laying in the bed. so, I slept in a long sleeve shirt and pants and socks,covered the pillow with my jacket, and made a serious effort to breath through my nose the whole night.

I guess I'm going on about the hotel for two reasons: that experience scarred me deeply, and, there's nothing much to write about vientiane. except for a couple of second rate wats, it's a dead freaking town. the highlight was a great local market selling all of these exotic foods under the warm glow of hundreds of tiny light bulbs strung from one end of the street to the other. that was beautiful. unfortunately, I have a tragic sense of direction, so I passed through this market about six times trying to find my way back to the hotel. took a bit of the romance out of it, you know?

today I took a bus north to a town called vang vieng. the scenery is spectacular: enormous limestone cliffs, lush forests, and a river which I can't remember the name of. tomorrow I'm going to do some hiking, explore some caves and them tube down the aforementioned river. I'm staying in this comfy bungalow that sits right on the river. it's so peaceful here.

oh yeah, vientiane was good for one thing: getting a visa to vietnam. $60 and five minutes at the vietnamese embassy gets you one. the man who processed the visa called me a lazy american because I could only speak one language fluently. when he wasn't looking I practiced some sign language on him.

Strep Throat!

so, the last couple days I'd been feeling tired, had a headache, sore throat, etc. I chalked it up to girl time of the month, as I usually get minor flu-like symptoms pre-period (sorry if this is too graphic for some readers) but yesterday afternoon, after spending the day drawing at the temples (which was so great...don't know the last time I spent the entire day drawing in my sketchbook...makes me completely happy), I knew I was full-on sick. son of a b. luckily I bought a mag light for the journey (though I thought I'd be using it to explore remote laotian caves and not the interior of my mouth) and saw that I indeed had blisters in my throat. this meant two things: they were serious about not licking the ancient temples, and I had strep throat.

digression: they're playing garth brook's "if tomorrow never comes" here at the internet cafe. it's one of my favorite guilty pleasure country songs. I love cambodia.

but I digress. luckily, the pharmacy here sells antibiotics for cheap. no need to see a doctor, I could make an educated guess about what illness I had (I did study biology in 10th grade, so I know things.) Augmentin. 500mg. 3x a day. done and done.

I woke up this morning feeling so shitty that I knew I could do nothing but take my meds, sleep, and eat a grilled cheese (rice does not cure what ails you like a g.c. does.) I did have to make travel arrangements for the next leg of my tour, so I ventured out to a travel agency to buy my plane ticket to vientiane (laos' capital city) and get passport photos for the visa. it must have been 100 degrees, and with a fever, I felt like death. I'm talking seventh ring of hell. you should see the photo for my visa. I look like tina yothers, if she died and they took a passport picture of her. quite unflattering.

anyway, I staggered back to the guesthouse, sweating like a fool, and collapsed onto my bed and slept for four hours. I awoke a little bit ago, feeling 100% better. my fever's gone and I'm sure I won't sound like bea arthur for very much longer.

time for another grilled cheese...and a whiskey.

tomorrow morning I'm laos bound. very exciting.

Angelina Jolie Eat Pizza Here!

apparently, before attending to the business of adopting an adorable cambodian orphan, angelina ordered a pineapple pizza at "cool place pizza" in lovely downtown siem reap, which is where I just had a delicious black olive and onion pizza and warm iced tea (I've had enough fried rice and khmer food in the last four days to last me a lifetime, so I decided that today would be grilled cheese and pizza day. I couldn't be happier.)

sidenote: I'm at a low rent internet cafe typing this. the "r" and "t" keys on my keyboard are sticky, so pardon the occasional dropped letter.

so, no sure if I mentioned this in my last post, but siem reap is a town in northern cambodia and the gateway to angkor wat. angkor wat is a 13th century buddhist/hindu temple and one of the seven wonders of he modern world. although i's the most famous temple,sprinkled around the area are hundreds of other amazing temples. in the last two days, I've seen 11 temples, 2 terraces, a couple gates, and a wall or two. patty's favorite temples:
1. bayon - a temple wih over two hundred enormous faces carved onto 37 towers. please google it.
2. ta prohm (I think) - a temple where huge trees have made their home smack dab in the middle of the ruins. google it, or rent jolie's masterpiece, "tomb raider."
3. banteray srei - a pink sandstone temple built by women, with the most exquisite carvings I've ever seen.

tomorrow I'm spending the day sketching my fool heart out at bayon. it's oppressively hot and humid here, so I may pass out after one or two drawings.

the last two days have been wonderful. after what I'm now calling my "heart of darkness experience" (the robbery, the visit to the killing fields and the genocide museum), it's a been a much needed change. the temples are awe-inspiring and I'm learning how to manuveur my way around the hordes of japanese tourists (they have a completely different concept of personal space than we do. and, I don't know if you know this, but they sure love taking pictures!)

right now my biggest concern is that it not rain tonight. I gave all of my clothes to the guy at the guesthouse to wash (thinking they had a washer and dryer) but when I left for dinner and asked him when I could pick up my laundry he told me tomorrow morning...if it doesn't rain tonight. (I'm assuming that means they're washing my stuff by hand, and my bras and unmentionables are air drying in some local cambodian's front yard. I would like a picture of that.) so, I don't know when I'll get my clothes if it rains tonight. and I doubt they'll let me enter the temples naked, so, I'll probably jump some unsuspecting cambodian kid and steal her tee-shirt and shorts. if I get caught, I'll bribe the police and tell them she was asking for it.

My Special Tour of Phnom Phen

when I landed in phnom phen I had my day-and-a-half itinerary all set in place:
1. the royal palace and the national museum
2. the killing fields
3. the genocide museum.

what I've actually seen in phnom phen the last two days:
1. three police stations, each one with it's own brand of third world charm
2. the u.s. embassy (three times!)
3. my travel purse (containing all of my money, my passport, my credit cards, my cell phone and my digital camera) being ripped out of my hands and the straps yanked off my neck by two guys on a motorbike.

yeah. yesterday morning I got robbed. it was horrible. one moment I'm sitting in a tuk tuk motoring down the street thinking of nothing but getting some great candid photos of cambodian life, the next I'm watching my most important travel possessions float away at a constant speed of 25 miles per hour. it's an odd chain of emotions that strike after you get robbed (immediate, too, as they all occurred in the span of two minutes.) at first, shock. then, disbelief. then, dismay. then, anger. then, for lack of a more creative expression, the "oh, fuck" feeling. it was that last one that remained for about two days, while I had to work my way through third-world bureaucracy, first-world (american) bureaucracy, a very large language barrier, and the gnawing fear that I'm on my own here and it's not a guarantee that things are going to turn out okay. of course, they have. my tuk tuk driver was incredibly kind, acting as my translator and witness and driving me around all day yesterday and today. he even bought me lunch, as I had only $15 in my pocket, which I had to use to bribe the police officers in order to get my police report in a day and not two weeks. I definitely got to see a side of cambodia that not many tourists get to see. and even though it was increbibly sad and frustrating to see the amount of poverty and corruption that exist in this country, in the end, it was an experience. and, isn't that what traveling is all about? am I rationalizing? maybe so, but during the last two days I had the opportunity to meet a good-hearted tuk tuk driver (with a wife and two kids who drives the tuk tuk because it pays better than his former job as a teacher), a 33 year old man who had to quit university to take care of his family (but who travels 30 miles to go to the foreign tourist police office to practice his english, so that one day he'll speak it well enough to become a teacher), a police officer who sang celine dion's "I'm alive" to me (a rousing rendition), and four embassy security guards who were the friendliest guys carrying machine guns that I've ever met.

in case you're wondering about the other details: my dad wired me cash (thanks, dad!), I cancelled all my credit cards, and I got my passport this afternoon.

so, tomorrow I'm going to do an abbreviated phnom phen tour, then heading to siem reap in the afternoon. siem reap is the town that's the gateway to angkor wat, which I've been wanting to see for years. I'm so excited to move on this part of my journey!

Give me a "C"!

three reasons I already like cambodia:
1. the people here greet you with this genuine, honest (but also intensely sad) smile. in thailand, I felt like they smiled because they were ripping me off. here, I feel that they're truly happy to meet me. (they like me, they really like me!)
2. my taxi driver said I was the most lovely girl he's ever met (then he added "this afternoon." but still, pretty nice.)
3. the internet cafes have webpages in english, so I don't have to crack the da vinci code every time I want to post something.

so, as you may have guessed, I'm in cambodia. in phnom phen, the capital city, to be exact. I landed a few hours ago. if you read my post from yesterday, you'll remember that I was concerned that the 100% chance of thunderstorms would ruin my beach day in railay (you also might remember the lame joke I made about being a positive thinker and the clouds being 100% full. well, call me obsessive and preoccupied with stupid shit, but I've workshopped the joke: blah, blah, blah thunderstorms. I'm a positive thinker, so I see the clouds as half empty." it's still not that good, but better than before. and I'll confess, I may have had a few cocktails with some australian hippies prior to posting.)well, perhaps it was all the good karma I collected while being tuk-tukked around bangkok looking at all the lesser-known buddhas, but sunday morning the clouds parted and the sun shown done on my pale ass, and I enjoyed an empty beach, emerald green water, those aforementioned towering limestone cliffs,and a traditional thai massage right there on the beach. to be honest, mai (my masseuse) was probably not traditionally trained, and her style was, uh, unorthodox. she thought it best to massage only the right side of my body and then give me a surprise foot scrub. but, the combination of everything had a magical effect on me and for the first time in years, my shoulders ceased to be balls of knotted muscle, and I was finally completely relaxed.

then the monsoon came.

but those two hours of bliss were enough to carry me through the next eight hours of end-of-the-world style rain, not to mention the four hours of hippie reggae music coming from the impromptu after hours dj hut set up directly underneath my room.

today I said adios to thailand (due to the fact that I only learned how to say "hello and "thank you" in thai)and now am looking forward to the cambodia leg of my journey. I mean, this was the impetus for the whole trip. the plan is to explore phnom phen tomorrow then head up to siem reap and spend three or four days at ankgor wat and all the other little wats. I promise to never make a joke like this: "wat do we have here?" or "wat the f?" (though if I find a tee shirt that has sports one of those jokes, I will most certainly buy it.)